Homecoming

He got down from the bus, taking in the surroundings ever so slowly. The places where he'd so often forgot that time moved; the places where he'd come running to, when he felt low; the places which had seen his extreme emotions. He felt complete, after such a long time. It was as if he had left a part of him behind there, just so that he wouldn't forget the boy he was. It had been a long time since he last kept his foot on this land. It was so serene and peaceful, as if nothing had happened; nothing had changed. Yet, there he was, a completely different person coming back for something he had left behind. He was walking at a steady pace now, reminiscing about the day he had decided it was time. .

His life had been a mess. He was regularly having bouts of depression. He had started to question his place, in the life of others surrounding him. He started to feel like an alien among the closest of his friends. He was wondering whether he was doing what he loved. It was she, who'd told him to 'walk a different road'. When others started to hate his presence, she had felt obliged to comfort him. He still couldn't forget how beautiful she was. Those brown/black eyes; her petite nose, which made a mockery out of the sharpest of lines, when looked at from the sides; her lips, which could slither into a smile with such ease ; her ears, which had all those different angles and curves which no geometry could get close to defining; the curly lots of her hair that he loved twirling onto his fingers. He had missed her the most, of all the things when he had tried to start a new life at a new place. She hated to see him become silent and moody. All he had to do was, to talk to her and everything went back to normal. It was like, she had this power to adsorb all the resentment out of him. He had never known a woman could be so comforting because he had lost his mother at a very early stage in his life. And all of a sudden, it had occurred to him that he was starting to smother her, although she had laughed at him when he told her that. He had told her what he wanted to do and he had been their to see the pain in her eyes, when he told her he had to move away for some time. He told her that he would come back and she told him that she would wait for him forever. They had decided they wouldn't communicate with each other, other than in their presence. .

And now, after nearly 9 years he was going back for her. He could still hear her words that were spoken that day; her awkward attempt at being cheerful even though she felt more sad than she could've ever imagined. He was almost there now. A mere five yards separated him from the door he'd so often dreamt of knocking, in his dreams. He felt a hand on his shoulder. A whisper in his ear : 'Forever, is not as long as it sounds' . .

Compromise

It was 11:59 pm. He never really liked being called at that hour and his close ones knew it. He was waiting for their texts, nevertheless. He had grown to expect their texts. There were a lot of people, who made it a point to be the earlier ones to wish him. When he was an adolescent, he even felt proud about having people who took the trouble to stay awake just to wish him. Tick by tick, the second hand, the minute hand and most importantly, the hour hand were all moving towards the mark. It was 12 am. It was 12.01, when he didn't even allow the vibrations to complete, before picking his phone to see who'd managed to wish him first this year. It was actually a number, rather than a name, and he glanced at the words that were typed after a considerable amount of thought.

Happy Birthday Buddy. Hope you remember Me.

Now he got back to the number. He had changed to a new phone a couple of years back and he happened to delete a few of his 'old' contacts. But he needed no name to identify this person. There are certain things that get etched into a part of your mind, that never forgets, and for him this was one of them. The irony struck him instantly. He'd wished that he could forget him but he'd never really been able to. .

It was the first year of college. Aadithya was someone adept at blending into any crowd. He had no problem finding friends. People who made him feel comfortable at that new place and people, who he'd thought he could turn to, when he was at trouble. But he always managed to realize the hard way that, people were never what they appeared to be. Few of them , who had no shame in using him and few others, who acted like they were true friends. But not all were bad. He managed to find a few true ones as well. The ones that were still in touch with him. The ones that still made him miss college. One of them, was Sathya. Sathya was never taken to be a friendly person. People hardly liked him, before knowing him. Aadithya felt no different. For someone really delicate in the inside, Sathya had this rough and tough swagger about him. He was not openly rude to others but people managed to get on his nerves, a bit too easily. But Aadi managed to see right through him. He became close to him and started to trust him. Getting Sathya to trust him, was totally different. Even after 3 or 4 years he wasn't sure if Sathya liked him as a friend. Time took care of the differences in their character. It made them accept each other for what they were. After all, jigsaw pieces which fit together, don't always look alike. They did have their occasional misunderstandings which had gotten more infrequent and hurting over time. But one of them eventually gave in. Except for once. It had all started with a stupid argument that seemed to have no end. Both of them had refused to come out of their perspective. .

Ever so slowly, he looked at his watch. It was 12.10 am. Almost 5 years traversed through in 10 minutes! Although he managed to get more friends, Aadi couldn't deny the fact that he missed Sathya at times. He missed his mere presence which felt so comforting. He'd always considered Sathya as an elder brother he never wanted to miss. Even before he could realize it, his fingers had typed the text and were collectively waiting for one among themselves to press the Send button, which his thumb eventually did, at 12.20.

Incomplete . .

Bharath :

He was the kind that stood out in a crowd. Not for his looks; It was his attitude and mental presence that made p eople take notice of him. He had this knack of making people like him, if he wanted them to. And he had this weird obsession of wanting everyone to like him the way he was. He also liked people so easily, that he ended up hurting himself, because of his expectations . .

He liked her the instant he saw her. Asked later, he couldn’t remember what exactly was going through his mind, when he saw her. He felt there was something intriguing about the way she looked at him. He couldn’t be sure of whether she liked him or whether she despised him or whether she looked at him like every other guy. When he saw her smiling at her friends, he wanted to be lucky enough someday to have her smile at him like that. When he saw her talking to a guy, he wanted to switch lives with him for that single instant. He wanted to be the person she thought when getting up from and going back to sleep. He knew he was being silly with all his wishes but he just couldn’t control how his mind yearned towards her. He was amazed by how comfortable their eyes had gotten over time. But the confusion still remained. He did not want to turn into someone who disgusted her. He’d plan for days about talking to her but would be too circumspect about talking. He wished he could find out how she felt about him but he told himself that that could be found out only the hard way, by getting to know her.

Deepthi :

She kept to herself. She was not exactly anti-social but had difficulties liking people instantly. She detested attention even if it was positive. But she never was able to be harsh to people even if she hated them. But even though she kept to herself, people recognised her because of her looks. Her mouth didn’t have to tell others if she was angry or happy. It was pretty apparent from her face. Only one person had trouble reading them and she had no idea of telling him that as well . .

She normally didn’t look out for people when she walked. She was always lingering in the silent world of hers. But one face was becoming particularly redundant. She had thought he’d stop looking just like the other guys eventually did. But there was something about him that was different. Probably the way he looked at her. He was not casual about her and he was so bad at acting like he was casual.Without even knowing it, she caught his eye more often than she’d have wanted. It was like he was searching for someone deep inside her eyes. She felt special when he looked at her like that. But she wasn’t so sure whether she liked this complete-stranger who never talked. She’d have been better off ignoring him like the other guys. But deep inside her, she felt this was the guy that the girl inside her would love to talk to. She wanted to know what was so special about her. She wanted to know if he was like the others. She wanted to know ‘him’ and surprisingly, she wanted him to know her. .

P.S: Some stories are better left incomplete. I want each of you to imagine their future in your own way rather than me telling it.

Life doesn't care to stop!

September 9,2007 :

I remember walking, no actually running, up to the boarding point for my bus filled with a few nervous individuals and 2 or 3 groups of 4-5 students. First day didn't turn out to be much of a thrill but it was definitely a change in the routine for us all, for we had been waiting for nearly 4 months for life to move on from the boring summer!

September 9,2010 :

Now I was one of the students in one of the groups. Whenever i see a nervy junior i still remember how tensed i used to feel and it all comes back to me!

The past three years :

Being someone who found it hard to make friends easily, i did find the going difficult initially. Days when i used to look into nothing in particular, just reminiscing my school. It is amazing how when you miss someone or something, it is only the good things about them that keep pestering your mind. It was not like i loved High school from day one! And then things started to change. New friends getting ac

quainted, old friends trying to keep in touch, although only a few very dear ones last through this ordeal. I still find it amusing when a group of freshers get along so easily that they could have been friends for years. Life started to gain its pace. There were a lot of 'firsts' to be experienced. First hour bunked, first crush, first really embarr

assing moment and a lot of others. Out of nowhere we were bunking 2-3 hours a day, playing soccer in the ground and walking to the buses with ou

r heads held high as if we had just represented the college team. I still remember one such day when we had been playing and the Chemistry sir had caught up to someone in my class and asked him what we were up to! The answer the guy

gave still has me laughing. We were attending an '

AIDS awareness camp' apparently! And slowly the new friends started becoming THE friends while the weaker bonds among the old ones started breaking. . .

The soccer part will probably be one of the best memories i will have of college life. There definitely are other memories too! The Industrial visit to Kerala, driving to Rahman's concert happening in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and returning later than that, cheering CSK with close friends,

the NCC camp in Salem, getting ODs for pointless bunking of classes, late night outings to theaters, sleep overs, Symposiums and the Saree-clad girls i liked looking at, rushing to treats and personally, always being late, football in Bessy,Sister's reception and the list keeps going. .

Today :

And in a few months, all this will be something i can only think about! I am sure most of us will be out of touch in no time, although i hope i turn out to be totally wrong!

I'd have never thought i'd miss SVCE. And actually, it is true in a way. Am not going to miss SVCE in any way. Am going to miss the friends and if there are any, enemies, i earned in SVCE along with the countless memories i have of them!

The beautiful game!

Growing up in India had me loving a sport more than anything else. Cricket. There were nights spent banging the ball i had tied up in a sock, inspired by Rahul doing the same in a Coke ad. Although i can laugh now at my attempts being futile, i did try my hand at becoming a professional, like every other Indian child. My friends and parents know the lengths i went, to follow the game i loved. But  sadly, my love for the game has dwindled over the past few years. Although not the sole reason, one of the prominent reasons will have to be, a completely different sport,played with the same number of players in either team.

The beautiful game , indeed! Soccer. It probably started with the pc games i used to play, shooting in 5-goals-per-game using a certain Henry or Zidane. As i grew up, so did my passion for a game, which ought to be loved by anyone who understands it! IS there any better feeling for a midfielder than to see an amazing long ball converted! Is there any better feeling for a striker, than to strike with  a perfect volley! Is there any better feeling for a defender, than to win the ball with a perfect tackle! None, on all three counts, i should say.

Week in and week out, players wrestle it out in the name of domestic rivalries and cups. But when it comes to the World cup, they forget their domestic standings and go out and play in their national colours, as proudly as ever. Different styles of play appeal to different groups of people : The ever so flowing game of Spain and Brazil,Argentina; The irritatingly defensive but effective play of Italy ; the total football played by Netherlands and the list could go on. I should admit, as a true fan, that it is irritating when people start to talk as if they know everything about the game only when the worldcup is going on! But no one can help it i guess. Afterall,

‘Football fever is something doctors have found no cure for!’

Beauty

'There are few things more beautiful than the sight of a woman(or an adolescent girl) turning scarlet'!

There is definitely an incident behind this. I just wanted to remember it. So thought i'd make a post :)

The Crush

 

He was walking down the road. His mind free of all thoughts. That was when a little drop, ever so slowly, fell on his hand. To him, there were few feelings better then to walk in a slight drizzle. His mom had tried to condemn him from doing that, when he was young, but only in vain. He was walking forward, but ironically his thoughts went back to the day when he first did this. He could still remember his mom’s exact words. ‘ It wouldn’t take much long for me to get there! ‘ She probably didn’t realise then, that this was a kid who wouldn’t budge at the slightest of threats.  .

It all came suddenly to him. It was like, what hit him wasn’t a drop , but an avalanche of memories. His mind wasn’t free of thoughts any more. He was thinking of a lot of things, suddenly. too much for his mind to handle. He tried to concentrate on what was causing all the trouble. He couldn’t ! He kept trying. Suddenly his thoughts focussed on one face. It amazed him just how much he loved her eyes. Those tender brown eyes, which had a special toast of naughtiness stored for him every time he saw them. And now it was time for his thoughts to freeze. .

It was some time before he could control his thoughts again, some time before he started walking again. He was wondering what made him get to that state. And then he got that particular memory..

‘He was around 14 then. He had gone over to his cousin’s for his vacation. He had gotten out of the house the moment it started to look like it was going to pour. He went and made himself comfortable on the place where he always sat. It slowly started to drizzle. There was nothing in the world that could give him this exact feeling : Being there all by himself, trying to enjoy nature, for what it was. That was when he had the feeling that he was not alone after all! He didn’t bother. He wasn’t to be disturbed right now! It was his moment of Serenity.  And then he heard her voice. It was like, it reached him past all the droplets that were trying to keep him occupied. He couldn’t resist finding the one who was distracting him! Not that he liked it! It was all gone now! The rain was heavier now. Not his favourite part. Slowly, two girls appeared. Slightly drenched. Trying to get some cover, apparently. He started to leave. And just then did he see her face. Those brown eyes. Laughing at this stupid guy who hadn’t cared to move when the rain was lighter. He couldn’t move anymore.  . ‘

He never got hold of how he moved from that place that day. Slowly they became friends. Young people who complemented each other like the Sun complementing the Clouds. To him, she was never ‘just’ a friend. If there was one thing he wanted take to his grave,it was  her eyes. Somewhere down there, he told her how he felt about her. She was the only person who he confided in, everything. Life was never the same after that . . .

 

All those thoughts made him ‘smile’ all through his way. It was 8 years since then. He was still walking when a slight nudge on his shoulders made him stop. He turned, only to look at the brown eyes he’d never stop looking at!

 

P.S : Some crushes vanish in an instant as if they never happened, but some do last LONG!

Tears!

Tiny globules of liquid, they are.

Burdened with one's feelings and emotions ;

Feelings of unbearable pain,unbounded joy ;

Feelings of eternal glory, everlasting despair;

Feelings of separation;Feelings of union;

Feelings of birth;Feelings of death;

Feelings of Love; Feelings of Hate;

Sometimes they just have to trickle down,

No matter, who you are!

My Last few hours as a Teenager.

Ah! So finally the day has to come, when i can no longer call myself a teenager. Looking back, it only makes me wonder what lies ahead. So i make this post, in dedication to the people who've always backed me up : my friends and my parents. Now to the interesting part: I wanted to put in words, the things(not exactly in one or two cases) which i found irresistible ( or finding) at some point or the other, in these twenty years. It is just my opinion and comments are welcome!

1. 'The opposite sex': I had this close friend of mine calling me a 'Casanova' once. No, am not that bad, but i honestly feel that i should fall under the category of guys, who need just a smile to get a crush. No offense intended to all the girls, but that's me being me. If there is one thing i wanted to change about myself, it'd be to get a stronger resolve!

2. Friends : It really is amazing, how a bunch of people can bring out the actual me, so easily. I might have only a handful of people whom i can call my close friends, but they make it up for the number being small. People, who i consider my close ones, really know how much they matter to me, so i don't think i have to tell them explicitly.I wish i've done enough to deserve them.

3.Being lavish : For a middle class guy, i am extraordinarily lavish! Ask my friends, they'll agree. Ask my Dad, he'll probably write a book on it. Ask me, I'll honestly admit. Another change i want on me is to not be lavish when I am actually not financially independent. All the Gadgets i've bought(and lost) over the years have to fall under this category :P

4. People who like me : Now, this is actually a tricky choice. There are people, who can act like they like you, without actually liking you. But i think i can tell the difference more often than not! And the people who are actually honest about this, are worth living for! It is the simple reason, a child might give, for thriving in a particular subject while performing miserably in the rest. These people are to be blamed, if i project myself as an uber-confident person. But their words are the ones which ring in my ears, when i feel very inferior to my surroundings.

I think this should do! If it was too boring, i apologize. I thought it was high time i posted something in my blog.